The Ten(der) Commandments: “How to Handle your Neighbor's Reputation”

Exodus 20:16

In Boston a minister noticed a group of boys standing around a small stray dog. “What are you doing, boys?” “Telling lies,” said one of the boys. “The one who tells the biggest lie gets the dog.” The minister was shocked. “Why, when I was your age I never even thought of telling a lie!” The boys looked at one another, a little crestfallen. Finally one of them shrugged and said, “Well, I guess he wins the dog.”

In David Letterman style, Rick Warren once identified the Ten Great American Lies:

#10 - Your table will be ready in a minute. #9 - One size fits all. #8 - This will hurt me more than it hurts you. #7 - I’m sorry I’m late. I got stuck in traffic. #6 - The check is in the mail. #5 - This offer is limited to the first 50 people who call in. #4 - It’s not the money. It’s the principle of the thing. #3 - I just need five minutes of your time. #2 - I’ll start my diet tomorrow. And the #1 Great American Lie: I’m from the IRS and I’m here to help you.

As we draw near to the end of our series on the Ten Commandments, it is sobering to realize how little mankind has changed over the centuries. We’ve found that each of these commandments are as relevant for us today as they were when they were first passed down to Moses on the mountain. We will never outgrow God’s wisdom.

Today we are going to explore the Ninth Commandment, which says, “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor” (Exodus 20:16). It clearly has something to do with controlling one’s tongue and speaking truth, not lies, but it is also concerned with how we should deal with other people’s names and reputations. Just as the third commandment (Do not take the name of the Lord your God in vain) deals with respecting the holy name of God, so this commandment deals with respecting the good name of others.

As God was concerned with putting a society together, so we today should be concerned with keeping our society together. We need to remember that every time we speak of another we literally hold that person’s reputation in our hands. That’s why today, rather than talking specifically about lying, I want to focus on how to handle our neighbor’s reputation. “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.”

You know and I know that our reputation is one of the most valuable and important things we have. Prov.22:1 says, “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold" Your reputation determines the level of respect you receive and how people will respond to you. It takes a lifetime to build and one act of carelessness to destroy. Because our own reputation is valuable, we know to guard it with our very life.

Now think: if you know how valuable your reputation is to you, then you can also understand how valuable another person’s reputation is to them. Just as we work to protect our reputation, so we should work to protect other’s as well.

It is a serious thing when we undermine the reputation of another by the words we speak. When we bear false witness about another person, we are helping to tear down that person’s respectability and credibility before others. We can do great damage to a person’s life, reputation, and ministry by the words we say about them.

Why then do we do it? Sometimes we lie about other people because we are angry at them or we want revenge. There have been many lives ruined from the accusation of improper conduct. Later after the damage was done, it was found the accuser lied to get even with a person. Sometimes we lie about another to protect ourselves from punishment or consequences. How many times have we blamed another person for something we have done to keep from getting in trouble? Sometimes we lie - we bear false witness about our neighbor - for personal gain or convenience or to look better. The worse they look, the better we look. A lot of office dynamics and politics today are being fueled by this. Friends, it is a sad day when we have so little to talk about that we feel we must share something negative about another.

You might think that you have not broken this commandment, and perhaps you haven’t. However, we should still be careful, for there are several ways by which people can be guilty of bearing false witness against their neighbor,

1. Slander - We are guilty of slander when we knowingly lie about another person in an effort to harm their reputation. I wonder sometimes as I look at all the political ads on TV how many of them are nothing but slander. We have gone much too far when we tell things on others that we know are untrue.

2. Insinuation - Some people who are very careful about never actually saying something untrue or derogatory about another are nonetheless experts in the practice of hinting that something may be wrong in the life of another. A slight pause, a raised eyebrow, an unfinished sentence, can be filled with meaning. When we cause a person to doubt another’s reputation by insinuation, we are guilty of sin before the Lord.

3. Criticism - What I am referring to are statements made about another’s actions or motives that are made in an effort to hurt their reputation. Constructive criticism is a good thing, but destructive criticism is not! Think of the vulture which looks for and sees nothing but that which is rotten and dead. Vultures don’t look for flowers or green grass or blue sky. It doesn’t look for the living things that are all around. The vulture’s focus is only upon that which is dead and corrupt. Friends, people who bear false witness and harm people’s reputation through negative criticism are a lot like those vultures, seeing only the negative that they are looking for. If the best thing you can do is criticize, you would do well to keep your mouth shut!

4. Gossip - This is the practice of spreading rumors about others. It is saying something behind a person’s back that you wouldn’t say to their face. (By the way, the opposite of gossip is flattery, saying something to a person’s face that we would never say behind their back!) “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret” (Prov.11:13). Gossip is almost always a false witness, for even if it contains some truth, it rarely contains the whole truth. Just because we know or have heard something about another does not give us the right to tear down another’s reputation.

Friends, it is a sinful thing when we practice any of these methods in regard to another. In fact, in Prov.6:16-19 God includes abuses of the tongue as three of the seven things he hates the most. “There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies, and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.”

Oh, friends, are you guilty of using your tongue to bear false witness another? If so, then you need to repent of that sin and get right with God! Paul said in Ephesians 4:25, “Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor; for we are all members of one body.” We should be doing all that we can to protect not just our reputation but other’s as well.

We should be quick to stand up for those whose reputations are being torn apart by gossip or slander or unfair criticism. We are just as guilty as the one talking when we stand there listening and do and say nothing in our brother or sister’s defense.